Change.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm not a fan of change. Most people aren't, it's natural not to like it. But I didn't realize the severity of my dislike until I really thought about it last night.

When I was in middle school and high school, back when the CW was the WB, I liked to watch One Tree Hill. To this day it's still one of my favorite shows, and thanks to Netflix I am able to maintain my character attachments and pick up wherever I want to with them. And I mean attachment! When they laugh, I laugh. When they cry, you can bet I'm crying too (don't even get me started on my love/hate roller coaster of a relationship I have with Dan). I am that girl, and I'm not even afraid to admit that.

I've watched Seasons 1-8 at least twice in my life. Season 9, the final season of the series, was a half season and I have been able to get through all but the final two episodes for reasons that I am now able to admit are none other than the fact that I don't want it to end.

I think it's my way of attempting to take control of change. I can control when I decide to move on, not the other way around. I know it sounds so strange and probably pathetic (mostly because it is) but when I finally put it all together I was almost amused at just how badly I deal with it.

We all know the (literal) sob story about my move to college... and one might think that moving 700 miles away was really brave, and in retrospect it was, but I think it was my strange way of coping with the change. Almost as if I wanted to go so far away that I wouldn't notice that people and things that I knew and loved were changing.

So since it's a new year, filled with changes that I can't just pause and ignore and return to when I'm ready, I'm going to try and get better at this.

I've only got three more episodes left in Season 9...and I'm laughing as I say this, but I am honestly a little tight-chested about nearing the end.

But alas, it is time. Wish me luck ;)

-Lo.